Words can be so many, but when You speak I'm hanging on every one
And it may seem so long to tary in the night, but I'm captivated by Your love.
Faith may seem so shaken, but upon You I stand.
And love a cymbal clanging, then I see the scars in Your hands
Where may I go but unto You?
You are the source that I cling to.
All of my fountains are in You.
Giver of Life
Songs may be so many, a simple melody I bring.
And could my heart compose it? But You are my Strength and Song.
My heart flowing within me, I have no good apart from You.
And could I but declare it? But it is You who loose my tongue.
Where may I go but unto You?
You are the source that I cling to.
All of my fountains are in You.
Giver of Life.
Where may I go but unto You?
You are the strong tower I take refuge.
All that I am be unto You
You are I am.
Where can I go? does not my heart burn within me?
Is not my soul consumed for Your law?
Your words are Spirit and Life unto me
Your Name I do recall.
To Him Who is able to keep me from stumbling
To You Who will catch me when I fall
To You my strength when I am weary
Your Name I do recall.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
My dream this week
October 4th 2007
I had a dream that I was enrolled in college classes again. I was training intentionally for a role I would have in the future (not just going to college for the sake of going to college). My first day of classes was great except for the fact that I was five minutes late to my first class because I couldn't find it at first. My schedule consisted of five classes, and an hour break in between my first and second class.
The first day of classes was great, but afterwards to celebrate the school year everyone went to this theme park. When I got to the theme park, my dream went from being in color to being in this awful yellowish "old film" type of lense I was seeing through. I didn't even go on any of the rides like my classmates were, just walking around for 3 minutes, I was SO exhausted that I went home and slept, but didn't wake up until the next day at 5. And I figured "well...I missed the first half of my day why not skip the rest of my day?". So I slept the whole day, and woke up on time for class on day 3, but had to make up for day 2. And I was so worn out from catching up (I caught up on classes during my break), that I was like "I need to just chill and have some fun". So I went with some classmates out to the theme park again, and was tired after 15 minutes of being there, and started feeling sick. So I went home sick, and didn't practice my piano. I slept through my first class on day four, and through my break, but got to my class at 4:15, and made it through the rest of the day. Each day in this school went on as such...trying to catch up, constantly behind, always late to something, or late with some assignment, never really having it all together, always exhausted, always burned out, and always at this theme park with my classmates after school or during break. I never really liked being at this theme park, but it was the place to be, and it seemed to be the only way to be with others, but we never really talked or did anything meaningful. I remember thinking sometimes "well maybe eventually I'll build relationships with people here, and then we can stop going to this theme park and go to my house and talk about real things, and build real friendships". But each time I left empty, but more than empty in the long run. The theme park drained the life out of me, every time I went. I felt like a loser for getting drained out so quickly when others seemed to be having so much fun. The theme park drained me of so much energy, that I would sleep longer than I wanted to sleep, and in the long run I ended up sleeping through alarms several times, and not making it to class. The dream ended in Worship Team Practicum. I fell asleep during class, and slept through a fire drill. That afternoon, we also had a tornado but I'd missed the drill before and didn't know what to do, and no one else did either. I saw the tornado coming, and a fire, and tried to run, but didn't know where the shelter was, I ended up crying by this gigantic fountain and a teacher found me and grabbed my wrist in a painful position and ran with me to safety and then started yelling "where were you during the drill? You could've ran to safety! And where have you been during class? Those credit hours count toward your degree...Anna wake up. How can a young man or woman keep his way pure? By TAKING HEED according to the word of God!"
It's time for us to train, and wake up and take heed according to the word of God
I had a dream that I was enrolled in college classes again. I was training intentionally for a role I would have in the future (not just going to college for the sake of going to college). My first day of classes was great except for the fact that I was five minutes late to my first class because I couldn't find it at first. My schedule consisted of five classes, and an hour break in between my first and second class.
The first day of classes was great, but afterwards to celebrate the school year everyone went to this theme park. When I got to the theme park, my dream went from being in color to being in this awful yellowish "old film" type of lense I was seeing through. I didn't even go on any of the rides like my classmates were, just walking around for 3 minutes, I was SO exhausted that I went home and slept, but didn't wake up until the next day at 5. And I figured "well...I missed the first half of my day why not skip the rest of my day?". So I slept the whole day, and woke up on time for class on day 3, but had to make up for day 2. And I was so worn out from catching up (I caught up on classes during my break), that I was like "I need to just chill and have some fun". So I went with some classmates out to the theme park again, and was tired after 15 minutes of being there, and started feeling sick. So I went home sick, and didn't practice my piano. I slept through my first class on day four, and through my break, but got to my class at 4:15, and made it through the rest of the day. Each day in this school went on as such...trying to catch up, constantly behind, always late to something, or late with some assignment, never really having it all together, always exhausted, always burned out, and always at this theme park with my classmates after school or during break. I never really liked being at this theme park, but it was the place to be, and it seemed to be the only way to be with others, but we never really talked or did anything meaningful. I remember thinking sometimes "well maybe eventually I'll build relationships with people here, and then we can stop going to this theme park and go to my house and talk about real things, and build real friendships". But each time I left empty, but more than empty in the long run. The theme park drained the life out of me, every time I went. I felt like a loser for getting drained out so quickly when others seemed to be having so much fun. The theme park drained me of so much energy, that I would sleep longer than I wanted to sleep, and in the long run I ended up sleeping through alarms several times, and not making it to class. The dream ended in Worship Team Practicum. I fell asleep during class, and slept through a fire drill. That afternoon, we also had a tornado but I'd missed the drill before and didn't know what to do, and no one else did either. I saw the tornado coming, and a fire, and tried to run, but didn't know where the shelter was, I ended up crying by this gigantic fountain and a teacher found me and grabbed my wrist in a painful position and ran with me to safety and then started yelling "where were you during the drill? You could've ran to safety! And where have you been during class? Those credit hours count toward your degree...Anna wake up. How can a young man or woman keep his way pure? By TAKING HEED according to the word of God!"
It's time for us to train, and wake up and take heed according to the word of God
Monday, October 1, 2007
Why not just show me Lord?
I have often become frusterated with myself and the Lord as I continue on this journey in life. I mess up, then afterward go "Lord...why didn't you just stop me? Or give me a big flashing neon sign that says 'HEY ANNA DON'T GO THERE!'" I came across this verse.
Proverbs 29:19 "By mere words a servant is not disciplined, for though he understands, he will not respond."
Even if we understood the rules, and followed all of them, our hearts wouldn't respond! The Lord is after our hearts to RESPOND to Him, the Lord not only chastens those he loves, but He brings us trials so that our hearts will learn to come to Him first as our only source! We live not upon physical food alone, but upon EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of Jesus Christ the only one able, and the only true fountain of life. He is inviting us to drink and never thirst for another lover again! He is calling, and if you sit there doing nothing at His call He will count that as your response. He is a lover, and He is after Your heart, let your response be love.
Proverbs 29:19 "By mere words a servant is not disciplined, for though he understands, he will not respond."
Even if we understood the rules, and followed all of them, our hearts wouldn't respond! The Lord is after our hearts to RESPOND to Him, the Lord not only chastens those he loves, but He brings us trials so that our hearts will learn to come to Him first as our only source! We live not upon physical food alone, but upon EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of Jesus Christ the only one able, and the only true fountain of life. He is inviting us to drink and never thirst for another lover again! He is calling, and if you sit there doing nothing at His call He will count that as your response. He is a lover, and He is after Your heart, let your response be love.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Israel
Matt 11 (AV) "Anna Version"
Jesus says "I played the flute for you...but did you dance? And I played the funeral dirge but you did not lament"
So what is He really saying? He revealed Himself for who He was, a ravished bridegroom God, and His people did not respond. He said that He would not return until Jerusalem says "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord". What will it take for this to happen? What will God do to turn the hearts of His people? God is a lover, a jealous lover who desires His people. He will not relent until He has their WHOLE hearts.
Deuteronomy 4:24 "For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."
Proverbs 6:34 "For jealousy is a husband's fury, He will not spare in the day of vengeance"
Proverbs 27:4 "Wrath is cruel, and anger a torrent, but who can stand before jealousy?"
He won't relent until He has it all...for the sake of Love.
Jesus says "I played the flute for you...but did you dance? And I played the funeral dirge but you did not lament"
So what is He really saying? He revealed Himself for who He was, a ravished bridegroom God, and His people did not respond. He said that He would not return until Jerusalem says "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord". What will it take for this to happen? What will God do to turn the hearts of His people? God is a lover, a jealous lover who desires His people. He will not relent until He has their WHOLE hearts.
Deuteronomy 4:24 "For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."
Proverbs 6:34 "For jealousy is a husband's fury, He will not spare in the day of vengeance"
Proverbs 27:4 "Wrath is cruel, and anger a torrent, but who can stand before jealousy?"
He won't relent until He has it all...for the sake of Love.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Incline to Your ear to me Jesus
Psalm 25:16 "Turn to me and be gracious to me for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins."
I love how open and vulnerable the Psalmist is when he writes this. The Psalmist, in context of the whole chapter of Psalm 25 is writing from the standpoint of Israel crying out to the Lord for mercy. Throughout the entire Bible, I can see how the Lord's process of redemption is the same (He is the same yesterday, today, and forever). Israel is a physical picture of the state of our own evil hearts. We are called by the Lord, our hearts respond and "sign up" to be only His, then we wander and get bored in the midst of the journey and fall into sin. However, at this most vulnerable point in the Psalm, the heart of Israel and humanity is revealed...the truth of what is "beneath" it all... "I am lonely and afflicted". No person, no thing, no running away or cover can hide this hunger in our hearts. And we should not ever try to hide it. Rather we should use this cry as fuel to bring us closer to God through our own HUNGER and craving for Him. It says that the Lord is the DESIRE of all nations! He is the desire of our souls! He is what we truly long for, and without Him we are lonely and afflicted. Let us run into to Him, and let Him be the God of our Salvation rather than trying to be our own gods of our own salvations. Let us come up from the wilderness leaning upon Him in love with ALL our heart, soul, mind and strength.
I love how open and vulnerable the Psalmist is when he writes this. The Psalmist, in context of the whole chapter of Psalm 25 is writing from the standpoint of Israel crying out to the Lord for mercy. Throughout the entire Bible, I can see how the Lord's process of redemption is the same (He is the same yesterday, today, and forever). Israel is a physical picture of the state of our own evil hearts. We are called by the Lord, our hearts respond and "sign up" to be only His, then we wander and get bored in the midst of the journey and fall into sin. However, at this most vulnerable point in the Psalm, the heart of Israel and humanity is revealed...the truth of what is "beneath" it all... "I am lonely and afflicted". No person, no thing, no running away or cover can hide this hunger in our hearts. And we should not ever try to hide it. Rather we should use this cry as fuel to bring us closer to God through our own HUNGER and craving for Him. It says that the Lord is the DESIRE of all nations! He is the desire of our souls! He is what we truly long for, and without Him we are lonely and afflicted. Let us run into to Him, and let Him be the God of our Salvation rather than trying to be our own gods of our own salvations. Let us come up from the wilderness leaning upon Him in love with ALL our heart, soul, mind and strength.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Wisdom or Folly?
The Call of Wisdom
Proverbs 9:1-6 "Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars; She has slaughtered her meat, She has mixed her wine, She has also furnished her table. She has sent out her maidens, She cries out from the highest places of the city 'Whoever is simple let him turn in here!' As to him who lacks understanding, she says to him, 'Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine I have mixed, Forsake foolishness and live, And go in the way of understanding"
The Call of Folly
Proverbs 9:13-18 "A foolish woman is clamorous; She is simple, and knows nothing. For she sits at the door of her house, On a seat by the highest places of the city, to call to those who pass by, Who go straight on their way: 'Whoever is simple, let him turn in here'. And as for him who lacks understanding, she says to him, "Stolen water is sweet And bread eaten in secret is pleasant." But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Hell."
Notice the similarity between wisdom and folly, although both are completely opposite. Both, if you will, have the same marketing plan, calling to those who pass by (both from the highest places of the city...the "well respected" perhaps)"WHOEVER IS SIMPLE LET HIM TURN HERE". Then, specifically both voices target the man passing by who lacks understanding. Wisdom offers freely what the man lacking understanding cannot attain for himself, and tells him "GO in the way of understanding". The voice of folly calling to the man lacking understanding offers only pleasures that are not even her own to offer. Notice also, the differences between wisdom and folly. Wisdom is diligent and hard working, tending to the needs at hand. But folly only sits at the door of her house playing as though she has everything together.
Such similarity in characters exists also in the description of Christ and the Antichrist at the end of the age.
Revelation 6:2 "And I looked, and behold, a white horse. He who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer"
Revelation 19:11 "Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war."
Both are on white horses, but the Antichrist goes "conquering to conquer" What is not his inheritance. But Christ is Faithful and True, and he Judges and makes war in RIGHTEOUSNESS and in perfect humility and servanthood.
We know the difference between what is good and bad through the fear of the Lord, and wisdom, which He gives to all who ask and seek Him. His sheep know His voice...which is wisdom and righteousness. Let us know Him now that we might not be decieved and offended at the end of the age.
Proverbs 9:1-6 "Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars; She has slaughtered her meat, She has mixed her wine, She has also furnished her table. She has sent out her maidens, She cries out from the highest places of the city 'Whoever is simple let him turn in here!' As to him who lacks understanding, she says to him, 'Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine I have mixed, Forsake foolishness and live, And go in the way of understanding"
The Call of Folly
Proverbs 9:13-18 "A foolish woman is clamorous; She is simple, and knows nothing. For she sits at the door of her house, On a seat by the highest places of the city, to call to those who pass by, Who go straight on their way: 'Whoever is simple, let him turn in here'. And as for him who lacks understanding, she says to him, "Stolen water is sweet And bread eaten in secret is pleasant." But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Hell."
Notice the similarity between wisdom and folly, although both are completely opposite. Both, if you will, have the same marketing plan, calling to those who pass by (both from the highest places of the city...the "well respected" perhaps)"WHOEVER IS SIMPLE LET HIM TURN HERE". Then, specifically both voices target the man passing by who lacks understanding. Wisdom offers freely what the man lacking understanding cannot attain for himself, and tells him "GO in the way of understanding". The voice of folly calling to the man lacking understanding offers only pleasures that are not even her own to offer. Notice also, the differences between wisdom and folly. Wisdom is diligent and hard working, tending to the needs at hand. But folly only sits at the door of her house playing as though she has everything together.
Such similarity in characters exists also in the description of Christ and the Antichrist at the end of the age.
Revelation 6:2 "And I looked, and behold, a white horse. He who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer"
Revelation 19:11 "Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war."
Both are on white horses, but the Antichrist goes "conquering to conquer" What is not his inheritance. But Christ is Faithful and True, and he Judges and makes war in RIGHTEOUSNESS and in perfect humility and servanthood.
We know the difference between what is good and bad through the fear of the Lord, and wisdom, which He gives to all who ask and seek Him. His sheep know His voice...which is wisdom and righteousness. Let us know Him now that we might not be decieved and offended at the end of the age.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Stir My Affections
I always used to wonder how, when I went to a youth conference or a really good church service I would have zeal and passion for a time, even living out the messages preached and living a higher standard of a more excellent way. Then, a month later, have nothing, no passion, and waiting, dry and bored until the next big event happened to "Fire me up" again.
Now, living a lifestyle of prayer, I find myself in the same place ( =.
WHAT?! Yes I know... I don't live in the third heaven, and see angels and clouds and fire everyday or hear booming voices from the sky like thunder. I sit praying all night long, bored at times with a very wandering mind. But something has begun to happen in me like never before.
I began to wonder...why? Why did I have that passion? It wasn't just hype and human sentiment. It was a genuine zeal within me that I had to respond to!
The truth is this...zeal and passion come from a longing...a hunger within us. Zeal comes from a hunger for something we don't have but MUST have and are laboring to attain! I got hungry when the word of the Lord pierced my heart in those services, and I realized it really was what I hungered for! But my response was that I created a to do list of goals and as I attained them I counted myself successful and my hunger fulfilled...But it wasn't. I found myself wondering why after attaining such wonderful goals I still lived ensnared in the same sins as before, and my soul just as lacking.
I now realize that the goal is this...Blessed are those who hunger....
Why? They never lack passion. We must realize that the LONGING alone is one of the greatest gifts we could be given! The dissatisfaction produces a heart that is ALIVE with LONGING for the living God. Longing is what makes romance "romantic". Let us have the cry of the Shuulamite in our hearts..."If you find my Beloved tell Him I am lovesick!". Lovesickness produces lives of genuine righteousness to God seemingly effortlessly because we follow our heart's desire, and not a list of to do's. And when we have seemingly "attained" our righteous goals, we must realize we truly have not, and that our depraved souls...if they are dull...are in need of a serious wake up call to the LONGING of God!
Let us become burned as the disciples were burned for the Man Christ Jesus. Let us be ruined for Him and Hunger like never before. If everyday we can feel the PAIN for the NEED of God, let us consider ourselves successful.
Now, living a lifestyle of prayer, I find myself in the same place ( =.
WHAT?! Yes I know... I don't live in the third heaven, and see angels and clouds and fire everyday or hear booming voices from the sky like thunder. I sit praying all night long, bored at times with a very wandering mind. But something has begun to happen in me like never before.
I began to wonder...why? Why did I have that passion? It wasn't just hype and human sentiment. It was a genuine zeal within me that I had to respond to!
The truth is this...zeal and passion come from a longing...a hunger within us. Zeal comes from a hunger for something we don't have but MUST have and are laboring to attain! I got hungry when the word of the Lord pierced my heart in those services, and I realized it really was what I hungered for! But my response was that I created a to do list of goals and as I attained them I counted myself successful and my hunger fulfilled...But it wasn't. I found myself wondering why after attaining such wonderful goals I still lived ensnared in the same sins as before, and my soul just as lacking.
I now realize that the goal is this...Blessed are those who hunger....
Why? They never lack passion. We must realize that the LONGING alone is one of the greatest gifts we could be given! The dissatisfaction produces a heart that is ALIVE with LONGING for the living God. Longing is what makes romance "romantic". Let us have the cry of the Shuulamite in our hearts..."If you find my Beloved tell Him I am lovesick!". Lovesickness produces lives of genuine righteousness to God seemingly effortlessly because we follow our heart's desire, and not a list of to do's. And when we have seemingly "attained" our righteous goals, we must realize we truly have not, and that our depraved souls...if they are dull...are in need of a serious wake up call to the LONGING of God!
Let us become burned as the disciples were burned for the Man Christ Jesus. Let us be ruined for Him and Hunger like never before. If everyday we can feel the PAIN for the NEED of God, let us consider ourselves successful.
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