Stir My Affections

I always used to wonder how, when I went to a youth conference or a really good church service I would have zeal and passion for a time, even living out the messages preached and living a higher standard of a more excellent way. Then, a month later, have nothing, no passion, and waiting, dry and bored until the next big event happened to "Fire me up" again.
Now, living a lifestyle of prayer, I find myself in the same place ( =.
WHAT?! Yes I know... I don't live in the third heaven, and see angels and clouds and fire everyday or hear booming voices from the sky like thunder. I sit praying all night long, bored at times with a very wandering mind. But something has begun to happen in me like never before.
I began to wonder...why? Why did I have that passion? It wasn't just hype and human sentiment. It was a genuine zeal within me that I had to respond to!
The truth is this...zeal and passion come from a longing...a hunger within us. Zeal comes from a hunger for something we don't have but MUST have and are laboring to attain! I got hungry when the word of the Lord pierced my heart in those services, and I realized it really was what I hungered for! But my response was that I created a to do list of goals and as I attained them I counted myself successful and my hunger fulfilled...But it wasn't. I found myself wondering why after attaining such wonderful goals I still lived ensnared in the same sins as before, and my soul just as lacking.
I now realize that the goal is this...Blessed are those who hunger....
Why? They never lack passion. We must realize that the LONGING alone is one of the greatest gifts we could be given! The dissatisfaction produces a heart that is ALIVE with LONGING for the living God. Longing is what makes romance "romantic". Let us have the cry of the Shuulamite in our hearts..."If you find my Beloved tell Him I am lovesick!". Lovesickness produces lives of genuine righteousness to God seemingly effortlessly because we follow our heart's desire, and not a list of to do's. And when we have seemingly "attained" our righteous goals, we must realize we truly have not, and that our depraved souls...if they are dull...are in need of a serious wake up call to the LONGING of God!
Let us become burned as the disciples were burned for the Man Christ Jesus. Let us be ruined for Him and Hunger like never before. If everyday we can feel the PAIN for the NEED of God, let us consider ourselves successful.